How this site came to be so Craptastic

11 07 2011

I’ve spoken previously about how the seeds for It Came From the App Store were sown, about how I tweeted about the hilarity of the description of SpaceRide and the comic genius of “nazi zombies: lord of sparta”. I still hadn’t decided to start a blog yet, though. It hadn’t even occurred to me at that point.

Today is the day I share with you the app that pushed me completely over the edge, the one that convinced me I needed some sort of platform to talk about this lesser discussed side of the app store. Later, once I came to the realization that just talking about apps on the store wouldn’t be nearly as entertaining as actually reviewing them, it provided inspiration for the theme of the reviews. Without further ado, I present:

Poo!

Yes, that’s really the name.

Developer: Lei Chi Tak
Purchase Price: $0.99

Honestly, it’s so tempting to just let that speak for itself, but then you wouldn’t have the full Poo! experience, so let’s do this! Or doo doo this, I don’t know.

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Ascension

4 07 2011

I can’t stop playing Ascension: Chronicle of the Godslayer. This deck building game is like a CCG for people that hate collectible card games. It’s lovely on the large iPad screen, but they managed to make it work pretty well on iPhone too.





No, Games Radar: Your predictable review is the problem

1 07 2011

Edit: after I wrote this, IGN posted a review score of 4. See Games Radar, it isn’t just you.

There’s perhaps no better time to talk about what’s wrong with reviews than the release of a new game in the Dynasty Warriors franchise. I’m about to do something rather unfair, I’m going to pick apart a Games Radar review by Andrew Hayward. It’s unfair because I can sit back and dissect it word for word at my leisure. But hey, it’s my blog and I’ll rant if I want to. I’ll also add emphasis if I want to, though that emphasis is mine, all mine.

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Memo to Capcom

28 06 2011

So, apparently in Capcom’s new Resident Evil game for Nintendo 3DS, there is supposedly only one save file and it can’t be reset if you’d like to start over, give it to a friend, or sell it.

I’ve said it before but treating Gamestop, and in this case the consumer, as the enemy is not the way to combat perceived losses to used sales. I recently got my son Bad Company 2 used, then ponied up 10 bucks for the VIP pack for the extra maps his friends were playing on. That’s how you do it.





No, no…THIS is the First Law of the App Store

27 06 2011

Yeah, forget that other thing. The First Law states that if I read your app description and I still have no clue what your game is and how to play it, you need a new app store description.





First Law of the App Store

26 06 2011

If your app description says your game is addictive, there’s a 99.3% chance, scientifically determined, that it isn’t. Seriously, have you noticed that every other app out there, particularly with puzzle games, claims to be addictive? Heck, good thing all those games aren’t addictive, because we’d never come up for air.

One of these days, I’m going to grab a whole bunch of descriptions from app store games and sift through for some of the most common words.





nazi zombies: the lord of sparta

24 06 2011

So on June 2, two days after the SpaceRide tweet that began this whole mess, I came across this glorious title: “nazi zombies: the lord of sparta”, and felt compelled to share it with the world as well. Note that the lack of capitalization is the developer’s, not mine. Nazi zombies I get, we’ve seen that before, and it works pretty well, but what in God’s Green Eggs and Ham did that have to do with Sparta (oh, sorry, “sparta”). Check past the break to find out, intrepid reader!
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